The River Why

At Texas Christian University, the students take pride in participating in as many organizations as possible, and over all just being successful. I feel that is very seldom to meet someone not involved in TCU Greek life and if they are not, then they are apart of something else, such as AED or the crew or SGA! TCU courses are rigorous work, but they do not prevent students from putting more on their plate. It seems to be a student consensus to use TCU to the best of our ability. All of my peers are constantly working as hard as they can in their classes and beyond. This involvement causes students to travel from one scheduled event to another. For example, I wake up at 8, study for an possible pop quiz, go to class at 10 and again at 11, grab lunch, meet with my conversation partner at 2, another class at 3:30, workout at 6 and FCA at 8… and this is only Monday! Where in my schedule am I able to take a breather, have some down time, check on my best friends or make a phone call back home?

            I think that all college students, or at least all TCU students are struggling with this. We are easily so caught up with our tasks and schedules, that we are not making time for what should be most important and what is going to last beyond college. The same week that we were watching “The River Why,” we learned about creating life long relationships in FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes), so this lesson hit me pretty hard. The speaker used himself as an example as he addressed this problem. He had played baseball from grade school up until his junior year of college. This was his priority and the most important thing in his life. All of his friends were on the baseball team and his lifestyle was centered on the sport. But when the task was over, nothing was left. He no longer had a reason to see his “friends” on a daily basis, and his relationships diminished. He had no one to turn to at this stage in his life. From this, he was an advocator of the concept that relationships are always most important. He advised us to always devote time to our relationship with God and our relationship with Godly people. At the end of the journey, these relationships will stand. Instead of having a group of people “clap and walk away” at graduation, we should have life long friends to stay forever.

            “The River Why,” centers on the same idea. The main character Gus leaves his home and lives his life out in a log cabin. In the first scenes at his new home we see his perfect schedule of what he wants to do every day. Living alone and fishing every day seems to be the perfect lifestyle until that is all that he has. Throughout the book, we see his perspective change especially as he becomes interested in a woman. In the last scenes of the movie, he seems to be truly happy with his girlfriend and family surrounding him. Relationships are much more important than tasks.

            Reflecting on this lesson and my lifestyle, I realize that relationship growth is definitely something I need to work on. Spending quality time with friends and family hardly ever happens like it did in high school. College students are really wrapped up in making the best out of their time and experience, forgetting to spend time with each other. Very seldom do I make time to spend with my peers that is not also spent doing something else. I hang out with my best friends at cheer practice or even studying organic chemistry. Will these relationships even exist when the task is gone? I think that we all need to put a little more effort into our relationships. Breaking down in front of others and having true heart-to-heart conversations should be more important than they are made right now. Being successful in our tasks college is a great thing, but having relationships that will last the rest of our lives is a better reward from college.

THANKFUL FOR JUDE

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with my friend Jude. Unfortunately, do to our schedules it had been a while, so we had a lot of catching up to do! I asked if anything was new and we discussed the stresses of school. We both agreed that we are exhausted and not looking forward to studying over Thanksgiving break. I was actually trying to get a little cat nap in on the table in front of me when Jude walked up. I suppose it is that time of year! This led us to our Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. I told him I was able to go home on Wednesday night and how excited and ready I was! He lives at home is having a very similar to American style Thanksgiving feast. He said he enjoys turkey on Thanksgiving just the same. Instead of Thanksgiving though, he is much more excited for Christmas Break. He told me of the awesome plans he has to take a vacation back to Maine to visit his old friends. The family that he stayed with before coming to Texas has bought him a plane ticket, so he can reconnect with his original “American Family”. He cannot wait to rekindle old friendships, but is definitely not looking forward to the cold weather! I asked if his two sisters have the opportunity to travel with him, and he replied with “no” leading into our next long topic of relationships.

He told me that both of his sisters, Barbi and Vanessa, are making plans to visit their boyfriends for the entire Christmas break. Vanessa’s boyfriend currently lives in Florida and she cannot wait to spend a whole month there. Jude seems to really favor Vanessa’s boyfriend, and I believe he is pretty close to Jude as well. Jude is a little bit more distant from Barbi’s boyfriend. He lives in Haiti and is working there. Although he is a strong Christian and works in youth ministries in Haiti, Jude doubts his love for Barbi. I believe that giving my opinion on the matter, I eased a little bit of Jude’s worry. As the only male in his family, he feels that it is completely his responsibility to protect his sisters from any heartache. It is a custom in his culture for the father to know a male’s intentions when dating his daughter. Jude is concerned that he does not know these intention, so I tried to convince Jude to call the man and explain to him the situation. I also made the point that the boys would not even be attempting a long distance relationship if they were not in it for the long run. In my experience, a long distance relationship is not worth the work unless it is aiming directly at marriage!

After discussion slowly shifted to the overall question of, “What is love?” As young adults, both of us have a difficult time grasping the idea of marriage love. As Christians, we understand the wonderful, unconditional love from our Lord, but the strength and infinite love between two human beings seems much more impossible. Being so far away from people that speak his language really prevents him from forming intimate relationships, so I think this is why love and marriage is always on his mind. For me, I suppose I have just read too many loves stories to deviate from my prince charming day dreams. But even with such admiration we both have towards finding our spouse, we both fear marriage. I confessed that I am so afraid that my mind could change, like it often does, and then where would I stand? He told me that in his Christian beliefs that divorce is acceptable, but remarriage is not. Which I found interesting, because in my experiences as a Christian, remarriage is a just a common part of today’s society.

Obviously, our conversation is all over the map. We have surface level discussions about admiring the sparkling of snow, and we also have deep discussions about our struggles as Christians. We confess to each other that we know how much love we have for our Lord, but even then we do not devote every second toward glorifying him! As we said our goodbyes, Jude told me that he does not understand why he is able to open up his heart and his mind so easily to me. I kind of laughed it off, while thinking that I have that affect on people. For some reason, I am constantly the friend that one seeks for advice or merely just confessed their problems too. I decided that I honestly love that people are comfortable enough to open up to me, and I hope that I can find a way to help people by giving advice for the rest of my life. Who knows what plans the Lord has for me, but I truly feel that helping others in some way is a part of it!

The Name Jude Means Praised

Standing outside the library today, I did become a little concerned when Jude had yet to show after our arrival time! He is never late, but instead typically early! Casually waiting, my eyes lit up the second I saw him a few feet away from me. Unfortunately, meeting up with Jude today, I could get the vibe that he was a little off. Yes, he still had the heart-warming smile and contagious laugh, but there was a definite lack of energy! As we began catching up, I realized that exhaustion and stress were to blame. He was running off of a few hours of sleep and still had assignments to wrestle with tonight and tomorrow night. He seemed so concerned with the task of writing a compare and contrast essay tomorrow evening. It always takes him a while to learn information, develop a strategy and thoughts, and then translate them over to English. The tasks that are considered “easy” in one's native language becomes more than difficult when asked to be completed in a foreign language. He also needed to read two chapters of a simple chapter book tonight; this task demands rigorous attention and contemplation, something he was definitely lacking the energy for. I advised him on how important sleep was, especially by the recently experienced quote, “It is hard to be Godly when you’re tired.”

From this we ventured into venting about how our busy lives accidentally prevent us from seeking The Lord. Our tasks seem more important than having God time or reading the bible. Although this was the case, I was very pleased to find out how The Lord was still working in his life this week. Jude has made fond relationships with two IEP students who practice the Muslim faith.  He asked the male student if he could experience a service with him, solely to learn what it is like. They began a deep conversation about their beliefs, and Jude could tell his story and the Lord’s work on his life. The other student stated his conclusion that his practice is solely because of the desires of his parents; it is a part of his culture and upbringing. The student said he just wanted to know the truth, and Jude confronted me feeling his knowledge is of the truth. I was able to relate to the Muslim student, as it is easy for me to be bogged down by other religions. I sometimes wonder if my passion for Christ is because of the ease of being a Christian in the United States, in comparison to other parts of the world. This week he also spread his insight of Christianity on a female student. She felt very passionately against her home culture because of their actions of degrading women in society. Jude was able to make a path to his religion through this showing her other ways of living!

I am so fortunate to have Jude in my life as a friend and mentor. Although we are close in age, his experiences shine so much light on me, as I hope some of mine do to him. I can only hope to live by faith just as he does, especially in his life struggles. Today I was also reminded that his mother left last Wednesday to go back to Haiti. Her visa would soon expire, and she did not want to live here illegally. I asked him how this was affecting him and his family, obviously being another reason for his sluggish behavior. Jude responded with answers, like “it is what it is”. His perseverance through the most difficult life events absolutely amazes me. He shares with me that it is the knowledge of the Lord that helps him through.

It is definitely our passion and love for the Lord that causes our relationship to grow exponentially and build so strong. I know that the knowledge of his character and his presence in my life will help me through any hard times that I may have in the future. I am beyond blessed to be randomly paired with such a remarkable man and am looking forward to our friendship for the rest of my life.