THANKFUL FOR JUDE

Today I had the wonderful opportunity to meet with my friend Jude. Unfortunately, do to our schedules it had been a while, so we had a lot of catching up to do! I asked if anything was new and we discussed the stresses of school. We both agreed that we are exhausted and not looking forward to studying over Thanksgiving break. I was actually trying to get a little cat nap in on the table in front of me when Jude walked up. I suppose it is that time of year! This led us to our Thanksgiving and Christmas plans. I told him I was able to go home on Wednesday night and how excited and ready I was! He lives at home is having a very similar to American style Thanksgiving feast. He said he enjoys turkey on Thanksgiving just the same. Instead of Thanksgiving though, he is much more excited for Christmas Break. He told me of the awesome plans he has to take a vacation back to Maine to visit his old friends. The family that he stayed with before coming to Texas has bought him a plane ticket, so he can reconnect with his original “American Family”. He cannot wait to rekindle old friendships, but is definitely not looking forward to the cold weather! I asked if his two sisters have the opportunity to travel with him, and he replied with “no” leading into our next long topic of relationships.

He told me that both of his sisters, Barbi and Vanessa, are making plans to visit their boyfriends for the entire Christmas break. Vanessa’s boyfriend currently lives in Florida and she cannot wait to spend a whole month there. Jude seems to really favor Vanessa’s boyfriend, and I believe he is pretty close to Jude as well. Jude is a little bit more distant from Barbi’s boyfriend. He lives in Haiti and is working there. Although he is a strong Christian and works in youth ministries in Haiti, Jude doubts his love for Barbi. I believe that giving my opinion on the matter, I eased a little bit of Jude’s worry. As the only male in his family, he feels that it is completely his responsibility to protect his sisters from any heartache. It is a custom in his culture for the father to know a male’s intentions when dating his daughter. Jude is concerned that he does not know these intention, so I tried to convince Jude to call the man and explain to him the situation. I also made the point that the boys would not even be attempting a long distance relationship if they were not in it for the long run. In my experience, a long distance relationship is not worth the work unless it is aiming directly at marriage!

After discussion slowly shifted to the overall question of, “What is love?” As young adults, both of us have a difficult time grasping the idea of marriage love. As Christians, we understand the wonderful, unconditional love from our Lord, but the strength and infinite love between two human beings seems much more impossible. Being so far away from people that speak his language really prevents him from forming intimate relationships, so I think this is why love and marriage is always on his mind. For me, I suppose I have just read too many loves stories to deviate from my prince charming day dreams. But even with such admiration we both have towards finding our spouse, we both fear marriage. I confessed that I am so afraid that my mind could change, like it often does, and then where would I stand? He told me that in his Christian beliefs that divorce is acceptable, but remarriage is not. Which I found interesting, because in my experiences as a Christian, remarriage is a just a common part of today’s society.

Obviously, our conversation is all over the map. We have surface level discussions about admiring the sparkling of snow, and we also have deep discussions about our struggles as Christians. We confess to each other that we know how much love we have for our Lord, but even then we do not devote every second toward glorifying him! As we said our goodbyes, Jude told me that he does not understand why he is able to open up his heart and his mind so easily to me. I kind of laughed it off, while thinking that I have that affect on people. For some reason, I am constantly the friend that one seeks for advice or merely just confessed their problems too. I decided that I honestly love that people are comfortable enough to open up to me, and I hope that I can find a way to help people by giving advice for the rest of my life. Who knows what plans the Lord has for me, but I truly feel that helping others in some way is a part of it!